John Bailey isn’t saying the seven-year-old has the Disney Channel on too much, but he himself has been unable to shake the “oh-way-oh!” part of the “Suite Life of Zack and Cody” theme song all morning. And, before coming to his senses, spent five seconds last night entertaining the topic of which Jonas is the dreamiest.
Monthly Archives: September 2010
September 29, 2010, 23:01
John Bailey would not concede the point to a seven-year-old earlier this evening, but now could, conceivably. Maybe the boy’s right. Maybe it would be in the best marketing interest of that coffeehouse on 9th Street to change its name to “Lakot-ahhhhhh!”
September 29, 2010, 18:37
John Bailey will drink it all in: the rickety rides that stop at the whim of a shifty itinerant; the rayon plushies, consolation for twelve dollars of haphazard archery, that pop seams right when handled; the small balls of fat coated lightly in lard and deep-fried in oil. This weekend, southern Ohio county fair … Here. I. Come.
September 29, 2010, 07:52
John Bailey is questioned by a seven-year-old, while walking toward the child’s classroom, about the Paul Simon lyric “I learned to play some lead guitar / I was underage in this funky bar / And I stepped outside and smoked myself a J.” … Time to go to school!
September 28, 2010, 09:32
John Bailey is quite happily living his life, and only his, his way.
September 27, 2010, 19:54
John Bailey finally, finally, past the purgatory of 63 construction, flat-ass floors it with four windows down and a seven-year-old’s head poking out of one, braced against the breeze but bobbing to the blare of Led Zep’s “Kashmir.”
September 27, 2010, 10:09
John Bailey has a handful of emails almost ready to send. All each one needs is to be assigned a subject line more measured, if not more descriptive, than “OK, look.”
September 26, 2010, 19:10
John Bailey should have known that taking a seven-year-old to a Mexican restaurant for dinner would fall far short of an antidote to the child’s sidling up time and again throughout the day and creepily intoning, “You are my pocket leeenx! Senorita Keee-ty!”
September 26, 2010, 10:12
John Bailey turned on the webcam so the seven-year-old could Skype with his mother, who was about to walk the two blocks from her Paris hotel to the Musee d’Orsay. Yeah. Well. … If they decide it’s not too wet to open, then we’re going to Shryock’s Corn Maze.
September 25, 2010, 21:48
John Bailey found his homemade dessert a hard sell to the seven-year-old, who picked at it after claiming he’d never even tried apple pie; and wondered whether to be concerned most with the child’s memory, his tastes, or his disclosing something that could land them both on a watch list.
Being John B 